Not many times in my life have I wished I was black....EXCEPT when I am on the basketball court, until now! I thought I stood out among the Polynesians in Hawaii, but this island has taken it to a WHOLE new level. I find myself everyday WISHING I was not a tall blonde white girl, just trying to survive. As hard as I try to fit in, every attempt has failed me so far. I have moments of forgetfulness and think I blend right in (until I look in the mirror or at a picture), but it doesn't take long to remember the truth. Let me tell you why.....
In the beginning, everyone around me LOOKED black. That sounds funny, but I saw color. The longer I am here, color disappears and I no longer see color I just see people. Just like motor bikers who pass on the highway wave, every time I saw a white tourist I nodded, and I'm sure with a look of desperation, my face said..."hey...we are the SAME!"
Though I do not see color, I cannot hardly leave my house without being reminded I am a WHITE GIRL!
For starters, my crazy drunk neighbor does not even let me forget. Though he has finally stopped asking if I have a boyfriend after 6 months....he stills calls me "my girl", asks me to come over and see him, and while offering to carry my groceries tells me he wants to marry me.
It does not matter how far, how fast, or where I go running, without fail there seems to be a different group of men cat calling, making kissing noises, and yelling after me "hey SEXY lady!" (and trust me, I don't look "sexy" when I run!)
I can rarely pass the vagrants (bums) on the street, without them reaching out and begging me to shake their hand, them calling after me "I love you", (...oh please no!)…oh wait, and them "telling" me to give them money. My mother only made that part worst for me...when visiting here in St. Lucia, I lost track of how many times she gave this one particular man money….he knows me even by my car and calls me buddy!
One afternoon I was approached by a
good looking guy on a bike…the first words out of his mouth were “me and you
would look good together, you are beautiful!”
Laughing I said, “well that’s nice
of you, but I’m married…sorry!”
“…so you are sure there is no
chance?”, he said with a smile.
The second time I was approached by
a guy on a bike, the exchange was not so innocent. If I had not been caught off guard by his offer,
I may have pushed him off his bike.
Needless to say that the men here are not the most wholesome and
innocent!!
The loud kissing sounds, the “hey
sexy ladies”, the “my girls”, the “I love you’s”, and the marriage offers….have
just become part of my everyday experience here. Not a day passes that I am not told I am
beautiful by a complete stranger. As appealing
as that sounds, those gestures have simply become a reminder to me that I am a
WHITE GIRL! No matter how hard I try to
blend in, and forget that I am not black, I don’t imagine the men here will let
me forget!!
But being the WHITE GIRL isn't always so bad. Sometimes being just alittle bit different...is ok! Its experiences like these that make it all worth it......
Picking Mangos with my favorites nieces and nephews! They love when I bring them surprises from Idaho...I think I have officially become there favorite auntie!
The church donated a bunch of camping gear and cooking stuff to this group of girl scouts. The couple times they have visited the church, they won't leave me alone :) Combing (braiding) my hair, bugging me about when I am going to "make" my own babies, asking me about Idaho (where the potatoes come from), and I LOVE every second of it...and LOVE all of them!
Jillian (my friend Jannels niece) brings a smile to my face every time I see her.....she runs towards me with arms out stretched, yelling "Liiinnnndddsseeeey"!
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